I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
