I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
