We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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