dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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