is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
