i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
