I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
