No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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