Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
