Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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