Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
