On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
