The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
