How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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