is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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