Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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