whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
