YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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