I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
