I just made out with a guy for $7.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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