Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
