YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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