I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
