He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Drunk is not a location!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think people are normalizing furries
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
