What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize