he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
