I wanna passion pit in your ass
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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