I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We are all done wearing pants today
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize