Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
