well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
