i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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