So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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