I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
