this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
should my penis look like a turkey
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
