I cockslap morals
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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