We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
