im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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