What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
