sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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