he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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