Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
