i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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