do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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