I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
