New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
