nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
