I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Watching her eat just hurts me
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize