take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
