she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
