I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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