im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize