It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
