well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
