don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
