so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
