you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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