he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
