Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
