you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
