my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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