Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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