I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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