I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The uberlube is also flammable
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
