What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
