I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She's the barista slut.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
