I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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