it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
