Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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