this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
