Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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