Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
