Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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