But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
