Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
