6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think people are normalizing furries
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
